


Work Trip

by EarlGay



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29264901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarlGay/pseuds/EarlGay
Summary: Bucky struggles to adapt to normal life, and when Steve leaves on business, things take a turn for the worst.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Work Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Well this has been sitting in my drafts for probably about five years now. I completely forgot I had a folder of incomplete works, and I thought why not start posting them again. Enjoy!

The door squeaked as it opened, Steve closing it behind him as he stepped inside. He threw his duffel bag against the wall lazily, happy to rid the unnecessary weight from his hand. He dropped his keys in the bowl and pulled off his jacket, hanging it on the coat hooks. He slipped off his shoes, lining them up right next to the combat boots that sat discarded on the ground. He smiled fondly at the boots, before standing upright and pulling down his shirt. He walked further into their apartment, sighing softly. He had been gone since last Tuesday, and had been scheduled to return the following Monday. However, thanks to Stark, he had gotten on a first class flight home on Friday. He had decided not to tell Bucky-- he was going to surprise him.

During the last few weeks, Bucky had been struggling. It was obvious to Steve, despite the brunette's attempts to look like everything was okay. Each day he looked worse and worse, like slowly he was giving up any hope of living a normal life again. Steve watched the way he had slowly stopped drawing, something Bucky had always loved. He started spending less and less time outside. He tried not to notice how Bucky kept slowly pushing him away, but it had been getting to him.

_Steve sat down next to the brunette, gently leaning his head on the other's shoulder. Bucky shifted away from Steve, glancing down at the floor. The blonde hesitated, looking at Bucky's eyes, only to be met with the other's adverts gaze._

_"Everything okay?" Steve asked, voice calm yet concerned._

_"Fine." Bucky mumbled. "Just tired."_

_Steve knew he was lying. It was all he could think of as Bucky stood up, scratching his arm and he walked into their bedroom and shut the door. It took everything he had not to run after him and wrap his arms around him and tell him he loved him and that he wouldn't let anything but happen to him. But he didn't. If Bucky needed his space, Steve would give it to him._

Steve had decided to surprised Bucky with an early return. He was hoping they would be able to go out for dinner, and maybe Steve would see a smile on the lips he loved for the first time in what seemed like forever.

So he walked slowly towards the living room, where he expected to find Bucky, maybe watching television. He could hear the news playing quietly on the TV one room over. He walked into the room, smiling. However his smile didn't last long - the television was playing quietly, yes, but the room was empty aside from Steve. Confused, he moved on to the bedroom. The bed was unmade, however that was no surprise to Steve. Once again, the room was silent, and oddly empty. He almost turned to leave, yet out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the crack in the ensuite door had light spilling through it. A smile tugged at the corner of Steve's lips, his feet making their way towards the door. He could hear the sound of running water, which he assumed came from the tub. He knocked gently on the door.

"Bucky...?"

No response. Slowly, he pushed the door open, slowly stepping inside.

The smile immediately fell from his face.

He was hoping that he would find Bucky, soaking in the tub, relaxing. Maybe he would have joined him, maybe he could have hugged him and made him smile. Instead, Steve was met with an more than half-full tub with continuously running water, and Bucky unconscious on his side, half his face and body under the water.

Steve almost felt the colour drain from his face. He glanced from Bucky, to the discarded needle on the ground, the lighter tossed carelessly on the bath mat, the bag of powder and spoon seated on the end of the porcelain tub. He ran over to the tub, turning off the water. He grabbed Bucky by the shirt and pulled him into an upright position and out onto the floor.

"Bucky!"

He brought his fingers up to Bucky's neck, searching for a pulse. He panicked as he searched, struggling to find any sign of a beating heart.

"C'mon, Buck...please...."

If Steve's senses hadn't been heightened by the adrenaline, he may have never found the too-slow beat of Bucky's heart. He let out a small sigh of relief, before quickly beginning CPR. He had just gotten Bucky back. After everything that had happened, everything he had been through, everything Bucky had been through- he was not about to lose him. Not now.

Suddenly, the brunette's limp body convulsed and he began coughing. Water came out of his mouth, running down his chin and neck, before being absorbed by the dry half of his shirt. Steve rolled him on his side as he coughed, allowing the water to run down his face and onto the bathmat.

"Bucky." Steve whispered, his voice cracking as he held back tears. Quiet followed before an almost silent

"I-I'm sorry."

Immediately, Steve pulled Bucky into his arms.

"Why...Why would you ever-- damn it, Bucky! How could you?!"

More quiet, before

"I can't take it anymore, I just needed an escape."

Tears pricked the corners of Bucky’s eyes as he was flooded with guilt.

"We can deal with the drugs, James! You passed out with the water running! You could have died, Buck." Bucky gave no response. "Please don't leave me." Steve whispered almost inaudibly. "I can't lose you again. I just-- I can't." He said, squeezing his arms tighter around the brunette. Slowly, the blonde felt Bucky's arms making his way around Steve's body, pulling his closer.

"I've done so many things wrong, Steve. How...how could you ever care about me anymore?"

"Because that wasn't Bucky. That wasn't you. I know you hate yourself for it all, but I don't hate you. I couldn't. But this is no way to deal with it." He paused, pulling away. "Have you ever done this before?"

“…No,” He replied, sniffling. “This was the first time.”

"It's going to be your last."

"Okay."

"Good."

"I-I need your help, Steve. I can't do this alone." Bucky said quietly, tears now streaming down his face.

"I'm here for you. 'Til the end of the line." Steve whispered, leaning towards Bucky so that their foreheads were touching, intertwining their fingers.


End file.
